Just some thoughts....

It is to hard to capture what is going on some times. The last week and a half have been difficult and challenging in many ways. We have had 3 deaths in our ward. The first was a young mother, just 33 years old. She had some systemic infections and got pneumonia. She couldn't fight it off. She had been sick for a couple of years. Some kind of eating disorder as well. She was down to below 70 pounds. She left behind a grieving husband and a beautiful 13 year old daughter. I took Becca to the funeral with me. She said, "mom, I don't know what I'd ever do if you died." That really touched my heart. One of the speakers said that if you have kids, go home and hug them and tell them that you love them. So to all my kids and grandkids - I LOVE YOU!!! The second was an elderly sister that had been in a nursing home for quite some time. A member of our bishopric actually pushed her in her wheel chair to church (it is like a half a mile) a couple of months ago and she bore her testimony. She was so excited to be there and to bear her testimony. Her daughters requested help from the Relief Society to dress her in her temple clothes. Monday, I left work a little early to fill this assignment with a couple of other sisters in the ward. It was such a privilege to do this service. We offered a humble prayer and began.We were able to dress her in her beautiful temple clothes. When we were finished, there was a VISIBLE difference in her face. She looked beautiful, happy, and peaceful. It was truly an amazing experience. Her daughters were so very grateful. The third was a sweet sister that I was assigned to visit teach two years ago when our ward boundaries were changed. I just fell in love with her and she has been a dear friend. It has been hard to see her struggle so with her cancer. She had at least 5 different kinds of cancer in her body when she died. She was a single mother for many years and has a wonderful son to carry on her legacy. (I wish I could introduce him to Julie.) I am so sad that Martine is no longer here, but I am also happy for her. She is no longer fighting, struggling, and enduring the pain she had for so long. I know she is much better now. She was a very independent, hard working woman. She had an amazing network of friends and associates that loved her and cared for her during her illness. Her funeral is on Saturday. I have also had some struggles with my job. This has added to the stress and anxiety of these deaths with which I have dealt. I'll just leave it at that. I am fine, but it has just been hard. I know we are supposed to have some hard times during our lives. It makes us stretch and grow and improve. That is part of mortality. I hope I pass these tests and learn what I need to learn and then move forward. I don't like doing hard very much!